My Favorite Things

Now that I have dissed the entire upper middle class, I suppose I should redeem myself by being funny. It will also take my mind off the fact that The Geet was taken to the loony bin on Saturday (or, senior behavioral unit, as they call it). I've been meaning to post pictures of my favorite Christmas gifts, kind of like Oprah. But, unlike Oprah, there won't be good looking Harpo employees coming down the aisles with free things for all of you. Sorry - but you may be glad about that when you see my favorite things.......



I have now been drinking box wine for over a year and have no intention of giving it up. My dear old friends and former neighbors (and notorious cheapskates) sent me this great set of paper napkins, celebrating the humor of box wine!



My sister-in-law of the awesome t-shirt fame (I heart Boxed Wine and Out of Wine - life is crap) gave me this Dial An Excuse thingamajig. It is quite funny and does have an excuse for most anything. I am getting better at just saying no - or hybernating so people forget about me and therefore don't ask me for favors. But, I have mounted the Dial An Excuse to my frig in case I get caught off guard. And, as seen above, the classic excuse for Offensive Behavior is drunkenness, which is really quite accurate......



Same sister-in-law, same idea. Post-it notes to remind me that my plate is already full. Did I mention that said sister-in-law is part of the intelligent and conscious segment of the upper middle class? And, she's funny too.



My mother is still recovering from 12 years of Catholic school. Her therapy includes poking fun at Jesus a little and I've received more than one gift like this. The back of the chapstick says "Returns Lips to Near Virgin Quality".



Childhood friends will know that this is the classic gift for me. I do believe that farts are the funniest thing ever. This book is a riot and it has fart sounds to go with it. It comes from my Aunt and Uncle and I can't decide whether my favorite farts are "The Aftershock" or "The Flight of the Buttock Bees". If you come to my house I'll let you push the buttons and listen to the farts - that is if I haven't worn out the battery by then.

I do hope you've enjoyed this edition of My Favorite Things. If I don't offend everyone I know through this blog, I may receive some gifts next year that will be featured here.